Actually, I'm not fine… blog

Category: generational curses

  • The Weight We Carry… Series- Part 10

    Part 10: There is no them vs. us After reflecting on my past, my upbringing, my relationships, and the lessons I now try to pass on to my child, one truth becomes clear: there is no “versus.” There is no war between men and women, no competition between genders, no hierarchy of struggle. There is…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 9

    Part 9: Raising a Child in a World of Broken Lessons Parenting is both a privilege and a responsibility, but it’s also a mirror. When you look at your child, you see not only who they are, but who you once were, the lessons you were taught, and the mistakes you hope never to repeat.…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 8

    Part 8: The Double Standards We Don’t Talk About Society loves rules, but the rules are rarely fair. From the moment we’re born, gender dictates expectations. Women are expected to be nurturing, strong, patient, and graceful, all at the same time. Men are expected to be stoic, providers, protectors, and resilient; even when the weight…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 7

    Part 7: Understanding Men, Even When I Wanted to Hate Them or most of my life, I was taught to hate men. My mother’s words echoed in my ears from childhood, warning me of their lies, their cheating, their unpredictability. Growing up in that environment, I absorbed the lessons without question. Men were dangerous, untrustworthy,…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 6

    Part 6: The Break That Saved Me There comes a moment in life when survival is no longer enough. When the walls you built to protect yourself start to feel like a prison. That moment came for me after my first marriage ended. It wasn’t just a divorce—it was the first time I truly allowed…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 5

    Part 5: My First Marriage: Comfort, Control, and Misalignment My first marriage wasn’t a fairy tale. Looking back, I can see it clearly for what it was: a relationship built more on comfort and control than on connection or true compatibility. At the time, I thought I was making rational choices. I was trying to…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 4

    Part 4: Relationships Doomed Before They Began Even before I understood the depth of my own trauma, I carried it into every relationship. The lessons from my childhood—the absence of trust, the constant need for control, the fear of being hurt—followed me like shadows. And because I was raised in a world where love was…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 3

    Part 3: Control, Survival, and the Cost of Independence Growing up in a home where trust was scarce and love was conditional, I learned early that control was the only thing I could count on. If I wanted to feel safe, if I wanted my emotions to matter, if I wanted to survive, I had…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 2

    Part 2: The Father Who Left and the Lies He Taught Me The absence of a parent leaves a mark, but it’s not just the absence. It’s the way the gaps are filled, often with confusion, fear, and misplaced blame. My father left when I was young, disappearing from the home without explanation. But before…