Actually, I'm not fine… blog

Category: my story

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 6

    Part 6: The Break That Saved Me There comes a moment in life when survival is no longer enough. When the walls you built to protect yourself start to feel like a prison. That moment came for me after my first marriage ended. It wasn’t just a divorce—it was the first time I truly allowed…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 5

    Part 5: My First Marriage: Comfort, Control, and Misalignment My first marriage wasn’t a fairy tale. Looking back, I can see it clearly for what it was: a relationship built more on comfort and control than on connection or true compatibility. At the time, I thought I was making rational choices. I was trying to…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 4

    Part 4: Relationships Doomed Before They Began Even before I understood the depth of my own trauma, I carried it into every relationship. The lessons from my childhood—the absence of trust, the constant need for control, the fear of being hurt—followed me like shadows. And because I was raised in a world where love was…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 3

    Part 3: Control, Survival, and the Cost of Independence Growing up in a home where trust was scarce and love was conditional, I learned early that control was the only thing I could count on. If I wanted to feel safe, if I wanted my emotions to matter, if I wanted to survive, I had…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 2

    Part 2: The Father Who Left and the Lies He Taught Me The absence of a parent leaves a mark, but it’s not just the absence. It’s the way the gaps are filled, often with confusion, fear, and misplaced blame. My father left when I was young, disappearing from the home without explanation. But before…

  • The Weight We Carry… Series – Part 1

    Part 1: Growing up in a Man- Hating Home I grew up in a home where the rules were clear, but the lessons were twisted. My mother was a woman who carried her own anger, her own pain, and it shaped the way she saw men and by extension, the way I was taught to…

  • Welcome to: Actually, I’m NOT fine.

    Have you ever felt like there’s something wrong with you? Like you’re too much or not enough, or that no matter what you do, you’ll never be the right version of yourself for anyone else? Me too. That’s the reason this blog exists. On paper, I’m a mother, a wife, a friend, a cousin, a…