…even when everything else feels messy
Some days your body feels like a stranger. Maybe your eating feels off, you skip meals, or you eat to numb, or you’re stuck in a cycle you can’t explain. Social media scrolls make it worse: everyone’s filtered, everyone’s “perfect,” and somewhere along the way the world told us we have to look like something to be worthy of notice.
I want to say this plainly: even when you aren’t feeling your best physically, you are still allowed to feel beautiful. You are allowed to look in the mirror and like the person you see. You are allowed to dress the way that makes you feel good; not to fit a label or to feed someone else’s opinion.
What happened to getting dressed because it makes you happy?
Why did we let the world make that feel selfish?
There’s this pressure to always be “presentable” to check your hair, touch up your makeup, adjust your shirt or your belt, again and again. It’s exhausting. But what if we let ourselves show up for ourselves first?
What if the mirror became a small act of kindness instead of a battleground?
I’m writing this for you. I’m writing this for the people who are quietly struggling, for the ones who have been told to be “less” or to hide parts of themselves. You are not alone. You are a beautiful soul who is trying, and that trying matters.
A small story: once, when everything felt like it was falling apart, I sat on a bench feeling invisible. My family felt distant, my relationship had left me feeling worthless, and my job was a mask I wore so others could have a brighter day while I pretended to survive. I was convinced no one could see the breakdown happening inside me, until someone did.
An older woman with laugh lines and a face that had clearly been lived in sat down nearby and asked me, simply, “How’s your day?” I said, “Fine,” because that’s what we say. She looked at me like she could see the lie and said, “Every day is a struggle, but I’m gonna keep opening my eyes for one more day. You never know when your time’s up. So go out with a bang.” Then she smiled and told me to “kick ass today, kid.”
It was small. It was blunt. It was human. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
That stranger didn’t fix anything for me. But her words: honest, unapologetic, raw. It gave me permission to keep going. She reminded me that courage doesn’t always look like a victory; sometimes it looks like showing up anyway.
So today I say the same to you: kick ass today. And tomorrow, kick ass again.
If you’re reading this and feel like you don’t measure up: you do. You matter. There is no one else like you. Your smile, your laugh, your way of moving through this messy world: it’s yours, and it’s important.
A few small ways to practice being kind to yourself when it feels impossible:
Say one genuine compliment to yourself in the mirror: it can be about your smile, your hair, your eyes. Also, It doesn’t even have to be a physical feature but your personality: your kindness, your strength, your resilience, or the way you try EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!
Tell a stranger something kind, a compliment to someone else can remind you how much small kindness matters.
If you’re struggling with food or your body, remind yourself that your worth isn’t measured by your plate or your scale. You’re a whole person, not a number.
When the noise of social media gets loud, step back. Choose one account that makes you feel better and unfollow the rest.
This post is a love letter to you: the imperfect, brave, trying person reading right now. You are seen, you are worthy, and you are enough. Wear what feels like you, eat for yourself, rest when you need to rest, and keep showing up.
Kick ass today, friend.
The world is better because you’re in it.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed healthcare or mental health professional. Everything shared here comes from my own life experiences, reflections, and lessons learned along the way. If something I write resonates with you, I’m so glad—but please remember this is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. This is simply one woman’s perspective, and my hope is that it opens conversation, connection, and reflection for others.
Actually, I'm not fine... blog 